How I Sabotage Myself with ‘Knowledge’


May these words serve the Highest Good.  Amen!


I just got screeched at by my partner, like a high pitched yell that lasted for 2 seconds…and it hurt on many levels…and it isn’t what I intended to write about…

but anyway – I guess I need to forgive that!

The lesson for me is…”There are more important things than food!” Which is actually the admonition I gave her after she screeched…of course it is applicable to me too!  The whole challenge between us actually arose because I was prioritizing the food rather than her wellbeing…and so she screeched…

Haha…the things we learn in the kitchen…cooking in the kitchen!


what this blog post title originally referred to…

Knowledge regarding food!  Of course.  Food is fun!

I’ve read enough about food that basically no food is safe anymore.  Except maybe green apples, I’m pretty sure I’ve come to the point where I’ve read something negative about every food on the planet.  Even brown rice, even beans, bananas, practically nothing is safe anymore!

Actually, thinking about it more, I’d say I’ve rarely come across anything negative regarding leafy greens include spinach, kale, lettuce, etc.  Also, sprouts seem to be safe.  So I can eat leafy greens and sprouts! And apple cider vinegar, and I feel confident about the multi-vitamins I take, and magnesium supplement!

Some of the staple foods that I’ve recently developed a slight aversion to: brown rice, tofu, any grain, beets and carrots, anything with white salt, anything with added sugar, dairy, and any legumes / beans.  Thinking that beans and rice are on the ‘no’ list of foods for me is perhaps the hardest for me living in community where those are basically served any day.

Anyway…the main issue isn’t the details but the context!  So…the issue is sabotage.  How do I sabotage?

Essentially, on a day when I somehow end up eating either a grain, or gluten, or dairy, or refined sugar, I then internally cross the whole day off as a failure, which then opens the rest of the day up to not following any of my general food guidelines / preferences.

Do you have any experiences like this in your life?  The gist of it is – I have a strong preference for abstaining from certain foods, and then if I happen to ‘break’ that preference for the day, then the day turns into a frenzy and I let go of any sense of discipline regarding food.

It isn’t as bad as it might sound, or maybe it doesn’t sound that bad – but I’m just bringing some light to the psychological trickery of the ego and mind and human appetite.

What’s the defense against such ignorance?

Spiritually speaking…

If I lived in the radical present and transcended memory, then I would have no memories to go back to where the rules were broken, and so having forgotten the rules were ever broken, there goes the excuse to break them again.  Also, with no memory, that also in a sense could mean no knowledge and then there would be no knowledge about the right or wrong of foods in the first place which could also be nice.  Really – I’m sure science could tell us that in some way any and every food is ultimately harming us and contributing to our death – but that doesn’t mean the best thing to do is not to eat!  My guess is that the best choices regarding food ultimately come down to the attitude with which the food is consumed and not what the food is.  The context of the food rather than the content matters most.  In a context of gratitude and appreciation, all food is nourishing and holy.  In a context of anxiety and frustration, all food is toxic.  So…more important than what we eat is the attitude with which we eat.

It probably would be healthy for me to drop aversions to foods like brown rice and legumes – especially following a mostly vegan diet – abstaining from legumes sounds pretty tough.  Then again, I will say that the times in my life when I’ve had great spiritual experiences and feelings of a high level of consciousness were when I was mostly eating raw foods and lots of ‘superfoods.’  Lots of sprouts!  So…I think there is something to the quality of food that is eaten, but then again also during those raw food sagas I also ate with high levels of gratitude and sincere appreciation for the gift.

Sincere appreciation for the Gift, whatever it is! – that is a key or abundant life and health 🙂

Also…there is something about holy forgetfulness.  To the extent that any memory serves as an excuse for behavior we could ‘bad,’ then it is not serving us at all, and we might as well forget it!  Forget and forgive and forget again!  All innocent, all divine, all love.

Glory to God in the Highest!


Spiritual Journal: More Honesty! 3/18


May these words serve the Highest Good.  Amen!

Upon witnessing my human animal going through its day, I realized that one of its primary faults is not being properly reflected upon / addressed in the Spiritual Journal.  So…without too much disclosure…perhaps there is still a bit of fear about some of the shortcomings…I’m continue to evolve the journaling and include some of the great virtues of the yoga sutras, commonly referred to as Yama & Niyama, or Observances and Abstinences.

Nonviolence: 8/10.  Said some words that were not totally skillful. Basically intentionally ‘dissed’ someone for a few laughs from the group.  Anyway, I have forgiven myself 😉

Truthfulness: 8/10.  If I said 9 or 10…well then I’d be putting myself in a trap!

Non-stealing: This is something I could work on it.  It is subtle, but I think I need more honesty and awareness around this area…and perhaps have some consequences in place if I feel that I violated this virtue.

Moderation: Getting better with this regarding food consumption…waiting until noon to eat is becoming more normal and relaxed, although I still tend to have a big lunch!

Non-greed: This seems to be partnered with non-stealing and moderation too…so I’d say it is okay but could be better.  Could also be more generous with charity, both monetary giving and giving by means of volunteer service.

Purity: Well…this a pretty vague word.  If it refers to the intention I have throughout the day, I’d say I am generally service-oriented and focused on loving and giving, although when it comes to food sometimes I eat for the senses rather than to optimize the service of the body and mind.

Contentment: Pretty much so!  Especially with the idea that if everything goes terribly I’ll just living a wandering sadhu or swami lifestyle…it is all okay.  Nothing to fear – nothing to see.  The Lord is my shepherd  – I have all I need!

Accepting pain without causing pain: Yes…haven’t been experiencing much pain recently – may have caused a bit of pain…God help me!

Spiritual Study: Ah, love reading the Bible 🙂  Haven’t been up on the Bhagavad Gita the last few days…but did just complete a weekend workshop on nonviolent communication which seemed like a spiritual event.

Surrender to God: Pretty good with this…who knows!  God knows 🙂

Ok then…reconnecting with the areas for growth and the direction to grow in…

Mindfulness and Gratitude while eating, being with people: More! More! More! 🙂

Depth of Meditation: Feeling pretty good.

Wake up: past two mornings have been early starting with meditation and a yoga class, thanks to the ashram and the weekend workshop.

Focusing on the Spiritual, transcending the worldly: Kind of…


Ok another fun way – let’s look at the 7 deadly sins!

Anger: Pretty good with this.  Although I do get annoyed.

Lust: Working on this.  Working on seeing the Beauty in all people of all shapes and sizes, not just the one’s generally considered ‘good-looking.’  Working on looking beyond appearance, to the essence, the Divine Essence!  Remembering I have all I need….the Lord is my shepherd.

Sloth: Pretty good.  Sometimes sleeping in late, but pretty active and serving during the day.

Envy: Did have some envy of wealth the other day, and even envy of some Mormons who were on their 2 year pilgrimage and talked with me for a bit.  Then I remembered to just love them and celebrate life with them and that healed the envy.

Gluttony: Ahh…tricky tongue! The body is staying relatively fit and light so I guess it is decently under control…and with the discipline of intermittent fasting at least there is some sense of order there…but during the eating window things still seem to get a bit out of a hand…let’s see how things go for the rest of the day.

I guess I need to get clear on my ideal during this area and the step-by-step process to getting there.  I think it would be great to eat only 1 meal a day and feel totally satisfied with that…and the journey to getting there would be going from 3 to 2 meals a day…right now I am able to wait until 12 to eat and then almost have 3 mini-meals from 12-2 and then sometimes snacks around 4 and dinner at 630…so in a sense it a lot of eating sessions.  Maybe I’ll just commit to 3 meals in the 12-8 window – because right now I sometimes eat at 5 or 6 different times in that window – so not that efficient!  Being disciplined with only eating at 3 separate occasions in that 12-8 window would be a good start…let’s do it!

Greed: Could be more generous with finances…kind of unsure with this whole bitcoin rollercoaster ride.  I’m still in it for the long-term hold, although sometimes it does look like it is all going to 0 and I think about taking out what I put in.  We shall see!  Maybe I’ll practice not looking at it / checking it on a daily basis…that might help to be less greedy – and perhaps to keep closer track of finances so that I am definitely giving 10% of my income to charity.

Also, sometimes I have doubts about wanting a full-time job just for the extra income vs. wanting it because the service is fulfilling and I’d be good at it.  Maybe it is a bit of both, but I hope it is more of the latter!  To be on vacation all the time, doing work that is enjoyable..that’s the good stuff!

Pride: This comes up when physically exercising…vanity…trying not to look in the mirror too much.


Ok…then the great spiritual points:

Awareness of the Beauty, Perfection, Holiness / Sacredness of All that Exists:

Well…now that I think about it…it is there a little bit.  Could always be greater, though!  Maybe a walk in Nature would help.

Aha!  I do remember seeing raindrops on a tree this morning and sensing some beauty and awe in that.

Selfless Service and Giving: More!



I was about to be hard on myself for the poor quality of these journals, but they are mostly just for my own use and probably not of much value to perhaps I will get back to writing on here and start a different blog for these spiritual diaries…that might be the respectful thing to do!


Thank you in Abundance!

Glory to God in the Highest!


Spiritual Journal 3/16


May these words serve the Highest Good! Amen.

After listening to some spiritual teachings and considering what really matters, I’m updating the format / languaging of the journal so that it emphasizes the direction I’d like to move in.

  1. Awareness of the Intrinsic Perfection, Beauty, Holiness, and Sacred of all that Exists, of All of Creation – Beyond Perception and Thoughts and Opinions – Beyond Duality, Sensing the Essence, the Exquisite:

2. Optimal Feelings of Health of Physical Body

3. Peace, Calmness, and Serenity of Mind:

4. Reverence and Gratitude for All Life; Mindfulness & Appreciation for the Gifts of Life

5. Being Present in the Moment, Awake to the Divine Presence; Awake to Love & Peace.

6. Quality of Speech: Aligned with that which is Truthful, Beneficial, Pleasant, and Useful

7 . Selfnessness (Free from petty-mindedness and vainly pursuing sensory pleasures and cravings)

8. A Tamed Tongue, Via Speech and Food Consumption.

9. Worshipping God (not mammon!)

Okay…let’s begin one at a time!

  1. Ah yes, the great ideal.  Sometimes when I pause and intentionally try to see the Beauty and Perfection of things, it is fairly obvious.  Really though, to even have the awareness to stop already means I’m close to it!

Today, I did have some negative thoughts, and basically what I did was wrote down all the criticisms and complaints and just let them be.  I wrote them down somewhat with the intention of burning them…but they were typed so not going to burn a whole computer!  As I wrote the complaints, I felt like I was writing them about myself, even though when I began I felt I was writing them about someone else.  But, because they were not addressed to anyone in particular, when I looked back at them I could pretend they were about me and they were all reflections, so that helped with the Oneness.  It helped to ‘vent’ the negative judgments and opinions and then to not sure share them.

I did read something in Proverbs today, by chance a Bible flipped open to a page, that said something about the one who loves correction loves Truth, or something like that.  Anyway, not only did that inspire me to read more of Proverbs but also to seek more correction.  So – Hallelujah!

2. Health of the Body…generally feeling good.  I did take a few bites of birthday cake which was loaded with sugar, dairy, gluten, and even food coloring!  About 30-60 minutes after,  I did feel some heart pains.  So – bah!  Perhaps the worst part about the cake was that it was far from organic / high quality ingredients.  If it was all organic or even homemade, that might have been a little different.  I also ate it standing up…which is what everyone else was doing…hehe no excuse….so anyway – health has seemed good but did have somewhat of a relapse with the stabbing heart pains – although today the sensation was more mild then it has been in the past.  And, just to reflect once more, when the heart pains initially started around a month ago, I was eating copious amounts of cashews and probably honey too, and since I have basically stopped eating both, and the heart pains are mostly gone.  I also started exercising on a regular basis and began intermittent fasting – so hopefully all things are working together for the good!

3.  Quality of mind…2 meditation sits today of decent quality – not too long!  I thought today at 5pm as I exercised that I would do well to then do hatha and meditate before eating…but sure enough tongue got the best of me and I ate before stretching and meditating…so now the stomach is a bit full and meditation will likely have to wait until this evening before bed.  Anyway, the mind has been pretty good, and it is happy bitcoin price is back up, and it is happy that it spoke up about pursuing a new position at work and a raise…but yes the meditations could be better.  It did help to write down a few negative thoughts and then forget about them…just to get them down on paper…

4.  Walking amongst the trees is a great experience and way I tune into reverence and gratitude for life and the beauty in all things.  Otherwise, I have been struggling to slow down enough when eating to be truly, profoundly grateful.  The time discipline with the food is interesting, and it is perhaps the first time I’ve done it, and done it successfully/truthfully for so long, yet the results have been mixed.  I went into a state of joy and bliss last night after 8pm – after the eating window closed – and was so happy just having fun and feeling light and easy.  Yet, during the eating window, hehe it can be tough!  Eat, eat, eat, seems to be the motto during the eating window.  We shall see how it develops!  The journaling is helping to slow down – because I know I’m going to have to give account!  I did wait until about 12:20 pm to eat today instead of right at 12…so that was somewhat of a success! Still though, would love to be more grateful and appreciative for all the gifts of life, and to make hay while the sun shines!

I am somewhat on the quest for acquiring more work/service hours, and part of me wonders how much of that is ego vs. spirit.  I also wonder how it balances with the householder life / renunciate life.  Because I am with a partner, I think it is part of a way I am embracing a householder life, and also I find that with more hours employed, that means more hours that I am effectively in the good company and out of trouble!  I do wonder if taking on more service hours is not necessarily making hay while the sun shines, hehe and then on perhaps a much smaller level I think it is making hay while the sun shines because it is such a rare job opportunity that could be really great – who knows! So I think it could be very fun and a great way to serve, and maybe will increase my willpower and discipline and help facilitate greater simplicity and ease in my life.

5.  Being Present.  Saying thank you is one thing I do well.  Especially with quality interactions with people, it is such a gift, and to me it makes sense to thank the person for their time and presence.  I could certainly be more awake to Love and Peace and Beauty…this is the journey!  How?  Go a bit more slowly…let go of my attachments and aversions…just surrender to what is being asked and give to the one who asks….love everyone and everything, no matter what!  Give up the idea of knowing anything and just focus on being.  Amen! Be like a child – totally innocent and ignorant, free and pure.

6. Speech – I could speak less, and timing!  Timing could improve.  If it isn’t ‘pressing,’ it can wait, and I don’t need to inconvenience others for my own convenience, that’s not nice!  Really…when speaking I don’t understand much, but I think just listening and saying thank you and being grateful is a solid foundation and actually a complete practice.  What do I really have to say?  Unless people ask…I might as well stay quiet!  My words seemed pretty truthful today, mostly beneficial, pleasant, useful….hooray!

7. I got pretty hooked on some cookies and biscuits today.  Gave into some sense pleasures…and it is only 6:30pm so still 1.5 hours of the eating window open for more mischief!  Hehe.  I ate what might be called a ‘low quality cake’ today because it seemed like it was doing a service to eat it, and I had such a modest amount of it that I don’t think it really did any harm, and really I did it as a service!  Afterwards, I did gobble down a couple LARA bars as an attempt to balance with some healthier substances.  Then I took vitamins 🙂 Anyway…less thinking, more loving – that sounds good!

One fun development is I’m in the process of giving up an easy service of bringing an elderly woman to meals and allowing other people to do it who might be in greater need of service opportunities, and I’m willing to take on a job with a lower pay because ultimately I think it may be more fulfilling.  Let’s see!

Eating I think is one of the great opportunities to eat truly as a service and to be free from selfishness.  Today…I think I did okay.  As mentioned, ate a bunch of biscuits and cookies which could have been shared…but seemed pretty good for health too over all…o wait maybe not the cookies…but really the were crumbly and may have fallen on the floor so weren’t really in ‘form’ to share…you can see how the ego/mind plays tricks and games 😉

8. Tamed tongue? Mostly addressed above.  In the process!

9. Devoting and dedicating and surrendering everything to God.  Ah yes, the Golden Present.  Live for this day!  Don’t worry for tomorrow.  God takes care.

I have heard some ‘odd’ ideas about the future recently, like the idea of an ice age in 2022 and things like that that can jolt me into some state of fear or concern or worry – whatever it is…alas just loving and serving and living to give is nice.

Most of my worldly concerns arise when I consider the notion of also providing for a partner rather than just caring for my own human vehicle.  Alas, I know my partner is also highly capable and devoted and pure of heart and relatively fearless so I could trust in her more and trust in God through her and through all.  Anyway, who knows what the future may bring.  The point is…Love is! Charity, generosity, virtue…that’s the good stuff!

What’s the big lesson for today?

Want nothing.  Give thanks for the great gifts of life.  Be generous when you can.  Be honest.  No need to hide anything from anyone.  Just love.  Be open.  Be kind.


Glory to God in the Highest!


How to Serve the Highest Good: Stay in Good Company


May these words serve the Highest Good.  Amen!

One of the most common pieces of spiritual advice is to stay in good company.

What is good company?

The good news about good company is that it is nothing necessarily externally manifest.  Good company can be found not only in the company of the Pope and your local clergy, but also in the simplicity and purity of a loving thoughtful, a grateful thought.  Good company is not far away – but really it is as near as your own heart.  That’s the good news 🙂

Good company is in a good thought!

So, keep in good company.


Glory to God in the Highest!

What’s the Most I can Give to All Creation?


May these words serve the Highest Good.  Amen.

What’s the most I can give to all creation?  What’s the most I can do to serve the Highest Good of everyone and everything?

Good questions to ask – yes?

Now let’s see….what are the answers?

The most I can give to all creation is…Love!  How can I give love? By loving!  How?  It is a feeling.  When is the time to Love? In the Present!  Where to love?  Right where you are!

Another form of the question that might appeal more to our egos and any sense of grounding we have in the world and with our human bodies — What’s are some of the greatest sacrifices I could make in serving to the Highest Good of Everyone and Everything?

I could make the great sacrifice of…fasting…of only speaking the truth…of feeling the presence of Love and Peace in all circumstances…of unconditionally loving everyone and everything, even my enemies…of being grateful for all things…

The great sacrifice of only eating one meal a day…

The great sacrifice of keeping the body and mind perfectly healthy and balanced…

The great sacrifice of refraining from sensory indulgence of the tongue – that is only eating for health of the body and mind and refraining from eating for pleasure’s sake (that would mean no ice cream or cookies!)

The great sacrifice of channeling all sexual energy to higher purposes – as Gandhi would say channeling the kundalini.

The great sacrifice of going into silence for seven days or one month, a year, or a lifetime.

The great sacrifice of joining a monastic life and formally devoting this life to prayer and meditation and humble service.

The great sacrifice of practicing all the great spiritual teachings – of giving to the one who asks, of not worrying for tomorrow, of being perfect as the Father is perfect, etc.

The great sacrifice of…giving away all worldly possessions and walking straight ahead, no matter what, committed to spiritual truth – Love and Peace.

The great sacrifice of…living an inspiring, disciplined life – focused on Loving and Serving and maximizing the use of the great gifts given at birth and the treasures of this lifetime.

The great sacrifice of…getting another degree, become well-established and prestigious, and giving seminars, etc.

The great sacrifice of writing 3-5 hours a day – creating a spiritual book.

The great sacrifice of giving up all thoughts and surrendering everything to God.

The great sacrifice of meditating constantly, in all circumstances and conditions.

The great sacrifice of saying something and sticking to it.

The great sacrifice of living a holy day, day after day.

The great sacrifice of forgetting everything else but Love and Peace.

The great sacrifice of living a simple, humble life, following the Guru’s Sadhana, loving thy neighbor as thyself, loving God above all else, honoring the 10 commandments, and avoiding the 7 deadly sins.


Yes…many great sacrifices can be made.  How do we choose?  What would be your great sacrifice?

Glory to God in the Highest!

How to Save the World


May these words serve the Highest Good! Amen.

“You don’t have to save the world.” – Dr. David R. Hawkins

Roughly quoted, “The first thing you can do to save the world is stop trying to save it.  Stay out of traffic.  Stay at home, folks.” – Dr. David R. Hawkins

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi

“There are no great acts, only small acts done with great love.” – Mother Teresa

“Feed the ants.” – JP Dada Vaswani

“Every spiritual advance that you make benefits mankind.  It is what you are, your essence, that radiates and lifts the sea of all of mankind.” – Dr. David R. Hawkins

“People say, ‘What can I do to benefit mankind? Stay home.  And, purify yourself with all the spiritual tools that you have.  Instead of just talking about them and having parades about them, be that.” – Dr. David R. Hawkins

So…what’s the point?

Saving the world is an illusion.

The illusion is perfect the way it is.  It serves its purpose.  Created by God, how could it be any better?  It is like a school, and it teaches all the lessons each one of us needs when we are ready to learn.  The world is not meant for perfect peace all the time, but it is meant for spiritual evolution.  It is meant for growing in awareness of the Power and Presence of Love and Peace and Divinity and Truth.  The world is perfect to fulfill its purpose.  It might not be perfect from many a human’s perspective, but it is perfect in the eyes of God.  Seen from a higher perspective, everything serves its purpose.  So, to save the world, we must trust that the world does serve its purpose, as created by God, and our purpose is not to attempt to save it, but rather to go within, learn the lessons, and be whatever change we want to see in the world, radiating Love and Peace to everyone and everything.  Nothing really needs to change except our awareness until we are ever peaceful and loving – then we realize all is perfect, complete, whole, total, and divine.  Then there is nothing to change and nowhere to go.  Divine splendor shines forth!  Beauty reveals itself in all things.

So…instead of trying to save the world…perhaps it is a better idea to try and see the beauty and perfection in all things, even dented trash cans.  Once we realize a state of deep, profound, love even for our trash can, chances are we have made great spiritual progress and have done we can to benefit the entire world and all creation.  We serve not by doing anything by becoming that.  Become that Love, that Peace, that Happiness that you wish for one and all.  If you’d like everyone to experience Peace, then start by prioritizing Peace in your own life above all else, and don’t compromise it for anyone or anything.  Honor Peace above all else for as much Peace as there is meant to be in the world. Your awareness and example of Peace is the most you can to for bringing Peace to the world.  Go Within!  Go within to the great Source of Life and Love.  Unite with that Source of Life within, be with that.  Then, what is there that needs saving?  We all have a treasure of infinite value within us – so what needs to be changed?  All any of us need is to direct our awareness within and find that great treasure within – the Kingdom of God! When we are aware of the Kingdom of God, all of our ‘needs’ dissolve and worries go away – we are free from all wants and desires.  We already have that which we seek.  As Bob Proctor said, “All you will ever need for fulfillment in life – is awareness.”


Glory to God in the Highest!

How to Overcome Weaknesses


May these words serve the Highest Good! Amen.

“What gets measured gets improved.” – Peter Drucker

It is as simple as that.

To eat less cookies, simply keep track of the amount of cookies you eat.  Day after day, take note.  There doesn’t even have to be any judgment about it. Just keep track of it.  As an additional bonus that may accelerate progress, you can hold the intention to consume less as a service to the Highest Good – dedicated to the Highest Good!  Really though, the intention is already there on some level if you’ve reached the point of tracking the cookie consumption.

Note: to reach the point of measuring anything, there already exists a desire to improve.  Without the desire to improve, the measuring wouldn’t happen, nor would it serve any purpose.  But, with the desire, the intention behind the measuring is implied already.  Whatever you are measuring, you are measuring with the implied intention that it improves – and as a bonus intention that it serves the Highest Good is icing on the cake.

Anyway, I want to improve my mindfulness when it comes to eating food and my level of gratitude for the great gift of food.  Additionally, I wouldn’t mind improving my mindfulness and gratitude toward all things in life – alas to have a single point of focus may serve to be very helpful.  As much as I do want to enhance all areas of my life, i.e. my consciousness / awareness, having a contemplative / meditative point of focus will help facilitate the process rather than to feel overwhelmed by trying to change everything at once.  So my baby step for measuring is the level of gratitude I feel and express before eating any food, with the intention that the gratitude becomes greater and greater and that it eventually ripples out to enhance the gratitude in all areas of my life and serves the Highest Good!  Today, I’d rate my overall level of gratitude with food at a 3 / 10.  Plenty of room for improvement 🙂

Cheers to evolution!

Gloria in Excelsis Deo!